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Thursday, April 14, 2011

Log, Cookie Dough - A to Z Blog Challenge

To those who love junk food, there are few treats as highly regarded as cookies. To those who love cookies, equally as enjoyed though viewed as a different food group than cookies, is the dough used to make said cookies. I say this because (aside from it being true) when you're wanting cookies, cookie dough is not a substitute. It's like a whole different critter all together.

Children love cookie dough, in case you didn't know. I used to get to lick the bowl when my mother made brownies or cakes, but cookie dough is different. It sticks together, so it's much easier to use most if the dough, thus the bowl is usually just greasy.

There comes a time in a boy's life where he's making minimum wage, and has no bills. He's out of the house a lot more than he used to be, so he'll find himself hungry without a fridge to raid. He will take his earnings and blow it on junk food and soda. It's a proven fact.

One such summer I was hanging out with some friends who were generally a little more active athletically than I was. Now, in high school I was in good shape, but I had no real cardio stamina. I could lift a lot of heavy stuff, but god help me if I had to move it an real distance. "Let's climb Bald Knob tomorrow!" one of them said.

Ugh, I thought. I never really enjoyed hiking, much less hiking up an incline. Still though, it was a summer day, I had nothing to do, and my at-the-time girlfriend was going. So.

Again, I had never done something like this, so I was ill-prepared from the start. No one told me not to eat three hotdogs and a plate of potato salad and some macaroni salad before we went. No one told me when we stopped to get a drink on the way, not to buy a chocolate chip cookie dough log and a bag of Milano cookies. No one told me not to smear the chocolate chip cookie dough on the Milano cookies (AMAZING COMBINATION, by the way... definitely recommended to those of you who are not going on a hike.) These are things one should be required to tell someone before climbing a freakin mountain.

Apparently cookie dough when left uncooked has a tendency to expand when it gets warm, such as it would while in one's stomach. Bald Knob is not very tall. It didn't take a long time to get to the top, and it was a pretty cool view from the summit, once I finished my technicolor yawns.

On hiking up hills: Only slightly less pointless than dancing. Unless you're one of those people who enjoys being hot, dirty, sweaty and tired in a remote place like the top of a damned mountain with an equally pain in the ass hike back to your car, (I know it's down hill, but it's still a work out) don't bother.

Most of the time, they sell post cards at the bottom with pictures of the view that you get at the top. Do yourself a favor, download Google-earth and see it from the stratosphere. I'd like to see you hikers get a better view than that!

... are you impressed? That whole post and I didn't once make fun of the name "Bald Knob"? I thought I'd leave that to you folks. :)