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Monday, September 27, 2010

Kindergarten, Now and Then

In the scenic autumn of 1984, I started Kindergarten. I don't particularly remember the very first day, but I remember a good number of the days I spent there. My scholastic career following kindergarten was one filled with frustration, boredom, and apathy. Brookline didn't start keeping score until 6th grade, which is to say, I had never gotten a report card until then, much less a letter grade. Ironically, that's about when I stopped caring about school. 

But kindergarten was a different story. We played and glued things to paper like string and other colored paper. We stacked blocks. We listed to "We Are the World" over and over and over... We had "Quiet Listening Time" where we lay on the floor on these spongy mats and listen to classical music. 

I remember graduating to first grade, and panicking because they expected me to read a whole picture book!

Fast forward to 2010. Now my daughter is in kindergarten, and I can't believe the differences. Times have certainly changed. Kids going in to kindergarten now are expected to be able to recognize and write their names, know the entire alphabet complete with the sounds the words make, and be able to count from 1 to 100. Coming OUT of Kindergarten, it's not unusual for them to be writing in whole paragraphs! 

What was Kindergarten like for you? Are they pushing our kids too hard now, or did we get off light?

Friday, September 17, 2010

So THAT is a Meme...

I've just been informed of a new way to be tagged. In the past, I've been tagged while running bases (albeit MANY years ago, and probably EVERY time I've had to run bases.) I've been tagged in pictures, much more recently than while running bases. There are some ways I have not been tagged before though, and one if which is like this cow:
To my knowledge, that has not changed. 

However, I've been tagged to do what is apparently called a "meme" by James Sullivan. Wait, no, THIS James Sullivan, or Suldog. Or Sully or Jimi Larue or "Your prescription is ready"

Here's the basis of this Meme... I have to answer his 8 questions, come up with 8 questions of my own, and then tag 8 people to answer my 8 questions, and tag 8 people of THEIR choice to answer... 

So without further delay, let's get this over with. 



1 - You have a choice. You can have your nose replaced with a second set of your genitals, or you can have your genitals replaced with a second nose. Which would you choose, and why?

(I'd love to hear Suldog's answer to this one too, seeing as when he met the person who asked him the 8 questions, he posted a picture of her with her finger up his nose... Many opportunities for questions right there...)

Well... First, let's start with some basic assumptions here, as there were some details left out.  I'm going to assume that the replacement body part would be functional.I'm also going to assume that the replacement part would be another one of what you've already got... in other words, I'm assuming I couldn't have my nose replaced with female genitals. 

Let's explore the nose in the pants... 

First, farting would be nearly as funny as it is right now. Second, a sneeze down there might set of one of those not so funny farts. Third, sticking my nose in a toilet isn't all that appealing when I'm vomiting, and I'm betting it's even worse when doing other things. I'm not even going to get into how one would pee. 

Another thing to consider, I've had the problem before that when I do vomit, it sometimes comes out my nose. Would it come out the second nose too, or would the plumbing be different. One wonders what other sorts of stuff that comes out of the body, would sneak out the replacement nose.

Nose in the pants: Unpleasant to say the least. 

The alternative... Well, I do my best not to lie, so it would be difficult to explain why my nose was growing. Further, I get food in my mustache as it is, and sometimes my mustache gets in my mouth. Not a fan of the imagery that fact brings to that question. God only knows what would happen when I sneezed. I'm not going to explore the thought of whether or not that would produce boogers or what have you. 

Dongle on face: Unpleasant

As Suldog said in the answers to the questions that he was asked, loopholes are fair game... Believe it or not, I have red clown nose in a box in the attic. I have no idea where I got it, but it's a "nose" and it's mine. Now, I am not thrilled at the idea of having it replaced with genitals, but I don't have any novelty genitals that I could have replaced by a nose. 

I'm going to opt to have my clown nose replaced by genitals. I'll let you decide whether it's replaced by male or female genitals, as long as said genitals also came from a clown.

2 - Do you think I give a tinker's damn?
I suppose it depends on exactly what that is. If there were a group of people called "tinkers" and each tinker had a damn, unless Suldog himself were a tinker as well, I'd have to say no. Suldog, being a non-tinker, would be committing a crime... Obviously that damn was not his to give. 

Now, if there were damns that were called "Tinkers damns" in a way like ground beef, gravy, corn and potatoes is called "Shepherd's pie", and Suldog happened to have one that he didn't want, or perhaps an excess of them, I would say that yes, he would give one. He's a generous spirit. 

3 - If you suddenly found yourself transformed into a cockroach, would you step on yourself?
Certainly not. Self preservation is the number one priority for all living things. I know where I'd go to be safe though. I happen to know Suldog has a soft spot for insects as proven here and here.

4 - If fuschia was a smell, and avocados were polar bears, why not Toronto?
Indeed why not Toronto! Amen! Toronto has taken it on the chin (or in the pants, depending on how they answered question 1) for long enough!

5 - Does the fact that Deep Purple isn't in the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame piss you off? How about the fact thatFrankie Lymon & The Teenagers ARE in there? I mean, come on, not a bad singing group, but that's like puttingEddie Brinkman in Cooperstown.



Eddie Brinkman, whom I really liked as a player, but come on...

I had no idea Deep Purple wasn't in the Rock and Roll hall of fame. Yes, that pisses me off, because I happen to know there are many artists in there who didn't play Rock or Roll. Isn't Run DMC in there? I know they played with Aerosmith once, but... really?

6 - If you were Eddie Brinkman, would you be pissed off now?

DMC for that matter?) 

I will say though, judging by his picture, he chose to replace his genitals with a working nose, and just found out farts aren't funny anymore.
7 - Artichokes or Hand Grenades?

Are we talking about to eat, or to blow things up? If we're just talking interior design, they're both fairly similar looking, but artichokes rot. I'd have to go with Hand Grenades. Artichokes come close, but as the saying goes, close only matters in Horseshoes and Hand Grenades. (or as I like to say Hand-shoes and Horse-grenades. I don't know what a horse-grenade is but I can't imagine it NOT being funny.)

8 - What's that smell?


I think it depends on your answer to question 1. You could always ask Eddie.

Alrighty then, my turn... 

Questions:

1 - What's better advice for a kid. "Always look both ways before talking candy from strangers" or "when crossing the street, stop, drop, and roll"?

2 - If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

3 - and Unitarians?

4 - and Presbyterians?

5 - Do you think the fact that Underdog is no longer aired is due to fact that he would only gain his super powers after taking a pill, and people believe that promotes use of drugs, or because Garfield master minded a hostile take over of Underdog's time slot?

6 - If you could choose one song to play loudly to announce your presence every time you entered a room, what would it be?

7 - What famous actor / actress would you cast as yourself in the motion picture?

8 - Cake or Pie?

...Now... 

Who to tag? I'm going to try not to tag anyone Suldog tagged. How 'bout:


I know, Suldog tagged the Surly Writer, and Quirky Loon, but I really wanna hear what they have to say. :) 

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Truths for Mature Humans

I'm not typically one to forward jokes. Actually, I'm not really even one to forward jokes to, apparently. I used to get lots. Not sure what happened. I think the world just sorta finally got to the point where just about everyone has recieved, forwarded, re-recieved and re-forwarded so many jokes that everyone's tired of it or something.

I did get a good one today, so I thought that I would share it here.


1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear
your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you
realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I
was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm
pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how
the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at
work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive
for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I
don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks
me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I
swear I did not make any changes to.

14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this -
ever.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?
Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and
goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the
phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not
seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not
to answer when they call.

18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or
Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

20. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

21. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger
and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I
first saw it.

22. I would rather try to carry 10 over-loaded plastic bags in each
hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to
finish a text.

24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and
hunger.

25. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just
nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they
said?

26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team
up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong,
brothers and sisters!

27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get
dirty, and you can wear them forever.

28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every
year?

29. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are
going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

30. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate
drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate
bicyclists.

31. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch three consecutive times and
still not know what time it is.

32. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car
keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the
Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the snooze button
from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every
time.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Been a while

Hey!

How've you been?

Long time no see!

How're the kids? The wife? The family?

You still at the same place?

I've been meaning to post, but things get so hectic! You know how it is...

But hey, I gotta run, but it was great seeing you!

Let's do lunch sometime! I don't wanna lose touch like that again!

Take care!